You Can't Go Home - Part One

Or so goes the title of the Thomas Wolfe tome. While I'm back in NE Ohio right now, this will become true shortly; my parents are no longer capable of living unassisted and will be moving out of state. The house where I spent my formative years is to be prepped for sale. Once the house is sold and my parents are relocated, I will have no reason to return to NE Ohio.

Unlike George Webber, I have a chance to take of some unfinished personal business on this trip.  I think I managed to do some of that this morning. I'll see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense. It starts with my personal conviction that it's the fathers who affirm their children into adulthood. Mother affirm unconditionally, while fathers must make a conscious choice to affirm their children. So I came home this morning while my dad (2 days short of his 95th birthday) was mowing the lawn. I decided to help. This needs to be said to emphasize the significance of this choice. This was probably the first time I helped my dad with anything since my adolesence. My father was the type of person that if you couldn't do something as quickly as he could, he would get impatient and just take over the task himself. As a result, I really didn't gain the confidence to take care of things around the house until well into my 30's. Anyway, not only did I end up edging the lawn, tree lawn and clearing away plants overgrowing the front porch and hose off the grass on the side of the neighbor's car parked next to the tree lawn, my dad also pointed to the side of the garage and asked me to clear away all the weeds that had taken over. It wasn't a big thing in the grand scheme of things, but it was a big deal to be deemed competent enough to do so.

The flip side of this is knowing that while he's agreed to relocate to be near my sister, his cronies from the old country have been telling him that it's *my* responsibility to move back to NE Ohio to take care of him until he passes on. Now I must find a way to communicate to my father that I will not be doing this.