Medium Raw

 is a series of essays published by Anthony Bourdain (RIP), whose rise to fame started with his book Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly.  Medium Raw was published next. He starts with an account of being invited to have ortolan (illegally).   Bourdain names no names, but describes other members of the guest list to make it clear that only that most respected chefs in the U.S. were invited - and him. Bourdain is well aware that he doesn't belong at this event, even if he is invited by his best friend (Eric Ripert) who appears to have hosted the event. While he's studied cooking at the CIA, Bourdain is painfully aware that he's not qualified to work in any of the restaurants run by anyone else on the guest list - including La Bernardin run by Eric Ripert.

The account in the prologue is well worth reading, but it's what follows in the prologue that prompts this entry. While enjoying the ortolan, Bourdain recounts a moment when he's at a low point in his career and clearly miserable, made even more poignant that during this moment someone he knew in college who went on to achieve some level of celebrity happens to enter the establishment where he's behind the lunch counter.

"I hadn't seen the girl since school, when I, too, it had appeared to some, had a career trajectory aimed somewhere other than a lunch counter. I was praying that she wouldn't see me back there but it was too late. Her gaze passed over me; there was a brief moment of recognition - and sadness. But in the end she was merciful. She pretended not to have seen."

Bourdain had been ashamed of working at that place, but in a moment of clarity, he saw that that moment had led to the current moment. Had he not made a series of bad choices, he would have never had the experiences that led to writing Kitchen Confidential, and he wouldn't be licking ortolan fat off his lips with people he describes as the 'gods of food'.