Condor

 "...you were born with an intellect that makes you unique. You process things faster than other people, and that's good, but it can also create an illusion in your mind that you understand things that you don't understand, and you have to learn how to feel things. And it doesn't matter how smart you really are, you'll never really understand what it means to be human..."

This quote is taken from the dialogue of a TV series called "Condor".  It may not be prescriptive, but I wish someone had said this to me a long time ago. My mind works a bit more quickly at most, and people seem to notice this even though I subscribe to the idea that certain things about themselves should be observed rather than announced.  I was labeled as 'gifted' in kindergarten after one of the teachers put a college textbook in front of me and made me read it out loud to all the other teachers. 

The thing is, my 'gift' has been as much a burden for most of my life. The following quote comes from Psychology Today:

"According to the Davidson Institute, PG people exhibit the following tendencies: rapid comprehension, intuitive understanding of the basics, a tendency toward complexity, the need for precision, high expectations, divergent interests—and a quirky sense of humor." 

The quirky sense of humor is a given - and yeah, some folks just don't get it. But for me, the inherent need for precision has been a major factor in not connecting with people; my proclivity for precision shows up in everyday conversation when my choice of vocabulary expresses a level of nuance that most people don't seem to get. Or someone else will use a word in a context that to me is inaccurate or even inappropriate. And that's been a major source of frustration in my life. I still look for and treasure moments and people with whom I can just sit around with in what I describe as my "mental underwear" and speak my mind with the confidence that what I say can be understood without my having to resort to a 'dumbing down' process I've learned to employ 24/7.

This leads me back to the original quote. As bright as I might be based on conventional measurements like an IQ score, I'm much more gratified by the level of emotional awareness I believe I've reached. And it's not just my own emotions; it's an understanding that our most significant life choices are driven by emotion, not by intellect. Moreover, there seems to be a stigma attached to that, so people are motivated to rationalize their choices. Because of this, people have attempted rational discourse to resolve conflicts, and these attempts are generally unsuccessful to a significant degree. 

If I were to say something prescriptive about this, I'd probably put it this way:

1) Most every important choice we make is based on emotion, not intellect/facts. This especially applies to things like ideology, because ideology represents the world the way we'd *like* it to be;

2) Whenever a choice is driven by fear, the use of reason to effect a change is ineffectual. The first thing that should be attempted is to identify the source/cause of that fear, and then attempt to help the other person feel safe enough so that rational discourse can ensue. Unfortunately, many attempts will be driven by a reliance on rationale, and these attempts will prove to be ineffectual as well. Any suggestions I might offer would not be prescriptive, because every individual is unique. But I will suggest that it starts with trust, which is something that is built over time;

3) You can't need to be right if you hope to resolve conflicts.