Seesaw

There's a weekly blues jam on Monday nights that I've begun attending. I've sung and played bass there, but mainly, I go to listen, hope to get a few dances in, even though it's rare that there's any experienced dancers there. There's a couple who've danced at Joe's on Sundays. They mainly dance together but I've gotten a few fun dances in with... I don't know her name!... who is not only a great follow, but shares a similar level of musicality.This couple were already seated at the bar - the guy - whose name I also don't remember, is learning how to play blues harmonica - when I showed up at the jam this week, and when she saw me, she smiled and waved.

That made my week and I've spent some time pondering that. The short version is that it's an example of shame being healed in community. But it also occurs to me that this person (whose name I don't even know) knows me at a level most people don't; not only has she experienced ME as a dance partner, it was as a peer. During one dance I anticipated a pause in the music and initiated a figure to reflect what was happening in the music - we both hit the figure but there was no pause in the music! We both heard the crescendo, the triplet rhythm in the percussion, etc. and we both agreed that the music was wrong! We laughed and we kept dancing.

Then later this week, I had an experience that was at the other end of the spectrum. Someone I was dancing with did something that I've been conditioned to interpret as a complete lack of respect. I suppose I need to accept some responsibility for how things turned out. The other person involved has stated that following well is not a big priority for them, and I have refrained from stating my perspective on it. I can't explain that choice fully but at some level, I sense baggage from a recent divorce and the situation screams "MINEFIELD!!!!!" and I choose to tread lightly and carefully. But this choice ended up making it harder for me since I'm somehow the bad guy for not cutting her slack when I'm already compensating more that I usually would for someone with whom I'm asking to dance more than once a night. The grief I feel is compounded because the other person involved is a member of my church, and is the one of the few people I know from church who shows any interest in dancing; I feel much more in community in my dance/music circles than in my church.